Health & Fitness

Wednesday August 6, 2008

Stick it up, guys!

By KEE HUA CHEE

Elbowing for pole position now takes on a new perspective as now it involves literally clinging on a metal pole for dear life.

More so if the man is less than beanpole thin. Also a woman clinging on to an erect pole is sensual and suggestive but a guy may not have the same impact!

"When Clorets rang and asked me to join as guest pole dancer (for Clorets Dark Secret Amateur Pole Dance contest), I laughed hysterically," grins Pietro Felix, radio deejay for Mix.FM. "I asked if they have seen me in real life. They said yes which bemused me even more."

Well, at a hefty 95 kg, Pietro Felix cannot be described as svelte, waif-like or reedy. Nor the ideal candidate for a pole dancer. "Just as well I am not leaving my day job." he chuckles.

Pole dancing must be on the bottom of his ‘to do' list. "Things that never occurred to me can sometimes be challenging and interesting. Initially I was worried about the moves as they seem very feminine. Then I was surprised to see videos of guys pole dancing and their movements did not appear effeminate or sissy at all."

Having a clean-shaven pate, Pietro also suffers the disadvantage of being unable to fling his crowning glory with gay abandon as long-tressed women are able to. No Rapunzel effect for him!

"Yes, I can't use my hair to my advantage as long, waist length hair flailing wildly is very appealing." concedes the affable Pietro. "I was hesitant and self-conscious but my curiosity piqued, I went to a pole dancing class at TalentHub@Casablanca and was amazed to see regular guys pole dancing! They looked great and their movements were definitely masculine with no namby-pamby airs as feared.

"So I decided to give it a go as a guest pole dancer at Clorets Dark Secret Finals. I am not taking part in the contest but still, I have no intention of making a complete moron of myself in front of hundreds of people so I have been "gymming'' and losing weight. This is the ideal chance to reduce my bulk."

His first lesson was simple enough. "I was told to hold on tight to the pole and lean as far back as possible, just to make sure the pole could handle my weight! I was told to try break or bend the damn thing which for better or worse remained erect!"

Can men do better?

In a nutshell, there is only one position women can do with infinite ease which men cannot do because, ahem, shall we say an extraneous body part will get in the way? The diehard male can do it but with immense pain and discomfort so unless your secret yearning is to be an eunuch, the so-called Seat Position is off-limits.

Happily, men do enjoy some minor advantages.

"Men generally have stronger upper muscles like chest, shoulders and arms,'' says Vivian Lea, a pole instructor whose mission is to pummel and persuade Pietro into presentable shape."All those biceps and triceps do come in handy after all!

"The male upper torso can adopt certain positions with minimal effort, while a woman may have to struggle harder. Men are also very good at variations of the Knee Grip. There are no weight or height restrictions.

"Guess what, women DO get turned on watching men pole dancing — the same way men are watching women!" she smiles cheekily. ``There are moves that are very macho when done by men so don't worry, it's like male ballerinas who carry their female partners."

"Yeah, I have seen videos in which women onlookers watched in fascination, as men pole danced,'' `adds Pietro. ``Well, I guess some guys will be titillated too by male pole dancers but that's not my problem!"

The Spin, (the most common move) actually looks better when done by a guy. "You need a heavier base when you spin round the pole,'' explains Vivian.

"It adds stability, style and is pleasing to the eye. A skinny girl appears to spin almost uncontrollably and is not so elegant. She will wobble and not appear steady, like a small car vibrating after being overtaken by a trailer truck!

"However, you need to be a lightweight when it comes to aerial manoeuvres and climbing. You should be light to be an aerialist as you are fighting gravity! So I am not pinning my hopes on Pietro to climb to the top of the pole and arch his body outwards!"

As pole dancing has evolved into a art form like belly dancing, there are certain names for the more popular positions. The Gemini is easily the most dramatic and erotic with the dancer upside down and hands stretching outwards like one part of the Gemini twins.

Scrooges will call this the new bi-polar disorder for sure. Them there are the Scorpio, Body Hook, Monkey Drop and the amusing Spiderman position, the way Peter Parker has done endless times with both legs crouched into a V shape. The most back-breaking must be the Levitation where the body is stretched out to be parallel to the ground.

Accomplished pole dancers resemble gymnasts, acrobats and aerobic dancers rolled (or should that be poled?) into one.

The immeasurable benefit for a male pole dancer is he will end up with a stunning V-shaped body.

Smirks Vivian Lea, "Just as cyclists have a certain type of built, male pole dancers will always have broad shoulders tapering to a slim waist and well defined legs! Pole dancing results in great stamina and builds strong arms, chest and back. Plus a flat stomach! So the New Age guys are treating this as another form of cardio vascular exercise with all the gains that come with working out."

We can safely assume Pietro Felix will not be in tuxedo and tail. "Hmm, neither will I be in G-strings! I am co-ordinating with Hannah Tan regarding our costumes but male dancers can wear T-shirt and jeans though I admit a bit of flesh does no harm."

I can see the puns and snide remarks looming; don't be vertically challenged, take up pole dancing or in lieu of coconut trees, dance round a pole instead.

Strip tease? No thanks, can we have pole please?

Footnote: Clorets Dark Secret Amateur Pole Dance contest is on Sept 5 at Ruums, Kuala Lumpur. For info;
www.cloretspower.com or
enquiries@cloretspower.com

Secrets of pole dancing

Pole dancing as we know it is a recent phenomenon which originated in the 1980s from the strip clubs and girlie bars in Canada, of all places.

It has become synonymous with Patpong though the well-informed consider this to be a dance or even sporting activity akin to gymnastics using a pole instead of the pommel horse, uneven bars, still rings or high bar.

It also proves the human capacity for creativity with nothing more than a solitary pole!

In its alternate universe, pole dancing started as the much feted May Pole Dance from the Dark Ages and is still seen today in rural village squares. With one huge upright pole ending in a knob, it obviously was a pagan phallic symbol of fertility.

Virgins would dance round it on the first day of the merry month of May, each holding a long ribbon attached to the top of the pole.

The sexual connotations were pretty obvious as the pole represented the male reproductive organ and the women were the brides waiting for their princes in shining armour.

Ancient Britons erected May Poles even before the Roman invasion in 43 AD to pay homage to the Horned God who presided over pregnant women and was said to occasionally have had a hand (or other organ!) in it.

The May Pole dance was also connected to the Feast of Flora, goddess of flowers and plants, when girls who had reached puberty were allowed to participate. The prettiest dancer would be crowned May Queen and garlanded with flowers.

By the Middle Ages, the maiden was called Maid Marion accompanied by the buffoon Friar Tuck and the Morris dancers with 12 young men and women holding hands.

There was even Robin Hood who acted as Master of Ceremony and Jack O'Green fantastically bedecked in flowers.

It was a matter of time before the sole pole became embellished. Instead of stationary, there is the pole with ball bearings which spins on its own axis, allowing the dancer to spin even faster with greater speed and momentum.

The effect, like the vodka ad, is shattering as the spinning dancer looks like a demented dervish.

There are now acrylic ‘glowpoles' with LED lights embedded inside which sparkle and twinkle, plastic poles containing water filled with glitter and reflective materials and strobe lights hidden in the base joists. All the better for dancers to grind against!

Who is Pietro Felix?

Pietro Ambrose Felix sounds exotically foreign and could be French, Portuguese or Spanish. "I am Filipino-Chinese. There's more of course but let's not confuse people," grins the 32 yr old celebrity Mix.FM deejay.

Some listeners assume the exotic name is a nom de plume, but "this is the name on my IC and passport," he says.

"I had an argument recently with an Indian guy who refused to believe when I told him I was Pietro Felix. He told me vehemently Pietro is Indian and I don't look Indian so I couldn't be Pietro!''

Penang-born Pietro (a fluent Hokkien speaker) worked at Positive Tone for seven years managing some wellknown stars. Then he won a deejay contest organized by Hitz.FM, dumped the stars and joined the station. "It was a quantum leap but I was stressed out managing stars who got on my nerves. I vowed to deal no more with egos."

He has been doing the Breakfast Show for two years, from 6 to 10 am which is not a piece of pie either. "I have to wake at 4.45am Monday to Friday to be at ASTRO by 5.30am." he sighs.

At first I found it amusing but not any longer as it is getting on my nerves, not that I am thinking of jumping ship again!"