Are We Truly Free?

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Can we really live in his world, share this planet with other fellow beings and choose to do what we like? Are we truly free to exercise our will and live the life we choose?

Don’t the laws of a specific country that we live in, govern us?

Some time ago you would have heard of a teenager from USA who vandalized some cars in Singapore. In his country, he would have gotten off with a slap on his wrist, but in Singapore, he got the Cane, in spite of pleas of mercy from the President of The United States! Likewise possession of Cannabis in certain parts of the world is not illegal, but do that in Malaysia and you will face severe penalty, even death. If those who were coming to our country were aware about our laws, wouldn’t they be more prepared?

Continuing from our story of Affabel ( Those who have not read the previous blog on “ Who is Nice, Really”, kindly read that before continuing, so you can follow the story)

Where does all these come from? Isn't there a great architect behind all these?

What was the eventual downfall of the characters, Deceived, Double life (a teacher in the school), Selfish and Faint Hearted? They focused on Jayln’s goodness, kindness and mercy and forgot about the judgment of Jalyn. the law that required them of a specific lifestyle. If only our characters knew that one day they will be in a land whoso laws are final and requires accountability, would they have lived the kind of lives they did in Endel? Just because they were not judged in Endel doesn’t mean they can live the lifestyle they chose, thinking they are free to do what they like.

I wonder how are we living our lives? Is it for the moment, to gratify our desires and show unkindness towards others or are we living for eternity, caring for others etc, that someday we may meet face to face with the ruler of the universe to give an account of our stewardship?

Closure

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“Its not how you start that matters, its how you finish”, is a common phrase we hear in relation to business or anything in life. But why do we start well in a relationship and end it poorly? I have heard of stories of fairy tale beginnings but terrible endings. Couples end up not talking to each other, some even get violent and do personal or property damages, threat letters, stalking, etc, you name it.

Before you get into a relationship, it’s very important to establish a good friendship before getting romantic. You will get to know your partner well as a friend before you embark at a personal level. Nevertheless some relationship may hit off and move quickly. Whatever the outcome, if it doesn’t work out, at least end the relationship well. Do not end with negative words or what you don’t like about your partner or why it didn’t work out.

"I guess It's goodbye then"

Just highlight the good points and say it with tact why you both can’t be together any longer. Never deride your partner or say it’s his or her fault for the demise of a relationship. End it amicably.

What do Brothers Talk About?

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From what I have seen, I realize most siblings are always at a loggerhead with each other during their childhood. I have only one brother (no sisters) and we used to have our fair share of fights when growing up. I think we stopped the scuffle during our mid teen life and became the best of friends.

Yes, I can say my brother is my best friend. We used to spend weekend mornings going out for breakfast together. Enjoying each other’s company, talking about everything under the sky. In those days we shared the same room, so we used to talk through the wee hours of the night before hitting the sack.

Some of our friends have asked us what’s the secret to us being so close, they say we talk to each other like some long lost friends meeting after years of separation.

My brother Alburn, with his youngest son, Jerome.

Today my brother travels much, has a family with kids, but we try never to miss a weekend evening together if possible to have a time of fellowship over wine, with my sis in law sometimes joining us. My brother’s kids love to see us sitting out at the porch overlooking my brother’s lovely garden and chatting and would give anything to join us, but unfortunately its adults talk and moreover past their bed time.

What do we brothers talk about? Well for us, mostly spiritual, sometimes financial, politics a little and anything of common interest.

Who is Nice?...Really?

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There was fame and publicity for the title “Mr Nice Guy”; though there was only one winner among the five contestants, we were assured by the organizers that we were all nice guys and that they had lined up a series of publicity events that will involve all of us.

In the midst of all these glamour, I had to pause and ask myself… am I really nice?

You can call it good, sincere, genuine, kind, what ever the word is, but the bottom line is, can we genuinely claim that we are nice?

A tree is known by its fruit

I am currently reading an amazing book that spoke to me about my hidden personalities, which I had taken for granted. The book entitled “Driven by Eternity” written by John Bevere is an excellent book that eventually begins with a story of a far away world just like ours in a land called “ The Kingdom of Affabel, ruled by a just king called Jayln. The kingdom was of unimaginable splendor and beauty and only them that earned the right to be in the city of the king were the ones who passed the test of stewardship.

Children who were born were sent immediately to be nurtured in a far away school in a land called Endel until they were ready to take on responsibilities for the stewardship that lasted 5 years. Then they would be sent for judgment before Jalyn who will decide if they will share in the kingdom or be cast out into a far away land called “ The Forsaken Land of Lone” which is the land of torment and utter darkness for the rest of their remaining lives.

Nobody saw Jalyn. They only learned about him through the lessons taught by the teachers. Among the students were five characters of interest named Independent, Deceived, Faint Hearted, Charity and Selfish. Their names depicted their character.

As I read each personality’s behaviors and what they did with their time as a stewart, began to unveil to me who I really was.

Sometimes we live in a deceived perception that we are nice by doing some nice things but forgetting the bad we do. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit and vice versa. A person is genuinely known by what they do, rather than what they say.

What Do Guys Talk About When They Hang out Together?

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Other than the usual get together and chilling out with the guys who watch football or other games, what do guys really talk about? 

Most men spend a lot of time with their guy friends mainly because they need to talk to someone.They would talk about their work, problems with their partners or about games. All other subjects revolve around these three main topics.

Give a man a TV and you feed him for life

 I am not the typical guy who loves watching games or hanging out with the guys, but I do enjoy some time out with close friends mostly in small numbers or on a one on one basis. 

What Would You Like to Know about Guys?

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Well, it’s been more than a couple of months since we explored topics on relationships, conflicts, love, break-up, what guys think, what women want, and why we men are stuck in Mars and confused about everything about the fairer sex. I am sure you women would like to know more about us as much as we would like to know about you.

Can we both take responsibility for this mistake?

I have received a few comments from some of the readers and I really do appreciate your feedback. This time I would like you to let me know what other issues or topics would interest you? Please send in your comments and suggestions to this blog.

Looking forward to your replies.

How do Women Feel About Dating Men who Earn Lesser than Them?

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This is probably one of the main issues in dating that men find it a struggle dealing with. Most men I know are uncomfortable dating women who earn more than they do. Respectively, on the other hand how do women respond to this? I know quite a few women who are not comfortable dating men who are physically shorter then they are, but when it comes to finances, does the same apply?

I met a really wonderful woman sometime ago, whom I was very interested in. She told me she couldn’t imagine dating someone who earns lesser than her. She was a qualified professional with a job that paid more than an average executive would earn. She presumed most men she knew would not be earning as much as her. Probably why she showed no interest in me either. 

Hmmm…Is that all you make?

Finances are probably one of the most important criteria in a relationship and I don’t discount the fact that it’s important for a man to be financially secure and independent.

But earning higher or lower than her mate, is it an important criteria?

Is God Real?

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We come into life wondering why we possess a specific sexual gender, existing in this particular place, with a specific family with differing talents and possessing gifts we don’t know where they came from.

One things for sure, we know we have a desire for a relationship. With family, friends and a special partner whom you would like to share your lives together. Where does all these common feelings of wanting to love and be loved come from? There has to be a source from where all these come from, at least the feeling of being loved and to love. We go through life searching for the answers to understand our true existence and why is life so short and where do we go after that.

I don't think I got my good looks from my ancestors, if they looked like this

Some of life’s most difficult questions can’t be answered with our mere mortal way of thinking in relation to the expanse of the universe and the amazing science behind it. (Which scientists have been battling for years to find the answers)

If you don’t know if there is a divine being that exists, then maybe the right thing to do, is to ask him to make himself real to you.

Who do Women Want? Nice Guys or Slightly Bad Guys?

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I was your typical so called nice guy, which landed me in the Clove Two competition for the Nice Guy title. Though I didn’t win, the publicity and all landed me with really nice choices. ( metaphorically speaking)

So really, do women like nice guys? A woman I know once said to me that "nice guys finish last and women do prefer guys that are slightly bad". What does that mean? Do women prefer to be treated nice all the time or occasionally prefer to be treated differently?

Someone I know, ended her relationship with her ex just about the time she met someone new. Along the course of her two months relationship with her new partner, she still continued to meet her ex because she believed it to be important to maintain the friendship. On one occasion while she was dating her ex, her ex treated her quite badly. She was hurt and didn’t want to talk about it to her new partner. (Which she eventually narrated the incident to him)

"You are nice, but I like him better"

What was the outcome of it all? She still continues to see her ex and would consider going back to him if her ex takes her back and would leave her new partner instead, who had been showering her with love, kindness and promised to stick with her through thick or thin.

What can we as men learn from all this?

Dropping the Big Question

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When do couples decide it is time to settle down and start a family?

There aren’t any guidelines in deciding when to get married. Ideally a year or so into the relationship will tell you if the two of you are ready for the commitment. Some may be courting for years and still may not be ready to tie the knot. This is probably because one may feel the other is not ready for a lifetime commitment- or they both just cant let go of each other inspite of knowing that they are not suitable for each other.

Some may decide to get married after a month or so into the relationship. This maybe a little too soon because one may be in the honeymoon period in a relationship and may initially feel they are made for each other.

"Honey,did we rush into it?"

Though there are exceptions, a month is a little too short to make a serious lifetime commitment because decisions based on feelings might fizzle out.

In the initial part of a relationship, couples may spend a lot of time together, sometimes even everyday. Give yourselves a little more time, you will know if you feel the same after 3 months or so.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment and the decision to get into it cannot be based on feelings alone. It has to be more than that.